derek bobo: those you spend your time with

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." - Jim Rohn

Every now and then I run into a quote that stops me in my tracks. I stumbled upon this quote a few weeks ago and it really struck me as profound. I'm not sure how I missed it for so long. I've heard variations of it, such as "you are the company you keep," but I had never heard it put so eloquently.

As I reflect on the different people I've encountered I can definitely see a trend that supports this. That's not to say that there aren't exceptions. There almost always are. However, when I look at the people who have struggled and seem to make a lot of poor decisions, they generally have a weak support network and have surrounded themselves with other people making equally poor decisions. Looking at your average family I see the same thing. They've surrounded themselves with others who are in similar situations. An example would be working class folks with decent lives and often times children around the same age. The same is true of the successful people I've met. Their friends and mentors tend to be other successful people.

Honestly, there aren't any real surprises at this point. People generally want to surround themselves with people who are like minded and that they can relate to.

The head scratcher is when you start to evaluate those that you spend the most time with. It's easy to identify the trend when you're looking at everyone else. It's much harder when you have to look in the mirror.

Are these individuals that have something to offer? Do they encourage you to chase your dreams? Do they help you reach those goals or are they more of an obstacle in achieving them? Do you feel like you're always the one putting forth extra effort in the relationship?

Ultimately I think it comes down to living a life that is true to yourself. You need to have a set of values and goals that define you as an individual. With those in mind, I think it's important to take a look around. Do the people you see align themselves with that same vision? Are they striving for the same things? Have they already achieved some of the things that you want to achieve?

If the answer to any of those questions was "no", you may want to consider surrounding yourself with different people. That doesn't mean you have to completely write them out of your life. It doesn't have to mean that you care about them any less. It just means that you need to spend more time with people that help you achieve your goals and people that want you to help achieve theirs.

archives

2014
May
28 First you must become
2013
February
04 One Foot in Front of the Other
January
21 The Zen Master
08 Those You Spend Your Time With
2012
December
19 You're Probably a Prepper
12 Anger Management
04 All About Choices
02 What I Know About Being a Dad (so far)
01 The Dalia Lama on Humanity
November
30 Time to Reflect
28 The Leeches Must Go
26 Take a Moment to Appreciate
26 A Matter of Perspective
19 The New Rich
17 The Story of the Mexican Fisherman
15 What's on your List
14 The Most Precious Resource
13 Three Things to be Happy
11 The Joneses
07 Be Intentional
October
27 Quotes