derek bobo: anger management

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." - Aristotle

My day didn't start off very well and I found myself extremely angry. I've since cooled off and had a bit of time to reflect on the situation and how I feel about anger in general.

Let me start by saying that I don't think anger is necessarily a bad thing. It's a tool in the toolkit that has its place. That said I think it quickly becomes a bad thing when it's no longer serving you, rather you're serving it. That was definitely the situation I found myself in this morning.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise, but where it gets tricky is being able to tell the difference. Anger has the potential to blind rational thought so you can quickly find yourself making poor decisions and not even recognizing it. Generally speaking that's not good. A couple exceptions (for me) would be acting to defend my family or my integrity. Otherwise it's important to compose yourself and look at the situation objectively. Then if the situation warrants it; you use that anger as a motivator to change the circumstances. Let it go if it does not.

I'll need to spend more time to really think through the situations where I think it's acceptable to just let the anger take over. That decision cannot be made lightly. When a situation does not fall in that realm I need to make sure I'm thinking rationally before taking action. I certainly don't want to say or do things that are going to hurt those around me unnecessarily. It's something I've been guilty of in the past and it's an area I need to continue to improve.

Disclaimer: I'm not a raging lunatic. I'm just trying to be thoughtful about how I approach life and how I can use this tool to better serve me. This is an area that I've improved immensely as I've aged. I'm not unhappy with where I am today, but there is definitely still room for improvement.

archives

2014
May
28 First you must become
2013
February
04 One Foot in Front of the Other
January
21 The Zen Master
08 Those You Spend Your Time With
2012
December
19 You're Probably a Prepper
12 Anger Management
04 All About Choices
02 What I Know About Being a Dad (so far)
01 The Dalia Lama on Humanity
November
30 Time to Reflect
28 The Leeches Must Go
26 Take a Moment to Appreciate
26 A Matter of Perspective
19 The New Rich
17 The Story of the Mexican Fisherman
15 What's on your List
14 The Most Precious Resource
13 Three Things to be Happy
11 The Joneses
07 Be Intentional
October
27 Quotes